Skip to main content

Posts

Finding My Mojo

Little Bit of Heaven So Much, So Much, SO MUCH! So many things I want to do but I'm learning to LEARN how to wait on what the Lord has planned for me. My daily prayer is... Lord, Guide my feet on the path you would have me to travel. Guide my hands to do the work appointed to me Guide my heart that I may feel the love of Jesus, compassion and mercy to others Guide my mouth that I may speak words of encouragement, Truth and love Guide my eyes that I may stay focused on YOU Guide my ears that I may hear and obey Your words Guide my head that I may always think on You and only You. I start, I stop, I start and I stop. I want to write, then I stop and allow myself to be distracted. I'm seriously beginning to wonder if I have Adult ADHD. Or maybe its because I've spent so much of the past 20 years being the eyes, ears, mouth, hands and legs of my family. Starting and completing something that is simply for me has never been an accomplishment that I can brag...
Recent posts
Sitting here behind my desk and contemplating about life. I seem to have come to that "midlife" season and I can't honestly say that I really know what the heck I'm doing. I KNOW I'm supposed to be "grown-up" seeing as my youngest child is 20 and we have 8 grandchildren. Yet, I still feel as though I'm searching and feeling my way around and asking myself, how do I want to spend the rest of my life? Where is my passion? WHAT is my passion? Do I have enough get up and go to get out and get it? The one true thing I'm certain of is that I need to get it in gear and get focused. I've often dreamed of writing yet I have no idea what to write. Maybe there's a book inside of me but its going to take a jack hammer to get it out. I once thought I'd write fiction. I just don't see it happening. My imagination runs faulty when I attempt to come up with the simplest of plots. Maybe inspirational or a memoir? Not sure. But if/when I DO put p...

The Search

My family and I have gone through a year of changes, most of them traumatic, painful and which left us reeling.Thank God for resiliency!  Things are coming around full circle. What I've learned in the past twelve months is that we don't HAVE to live the life we are living. Even in the midst of the storm, when it seems hopeless, we can make a conscious effort to change what we can from the inside, in how we see our situation at the present time and how it can be in the future. We are not our circumstances, unless we choose to be. In the past months I've been growing within. I'm walking closer to the Lord and I'm seeking the truth that is me. I'm stepping out the mold and kicking it to the curb. No more being bound by what others think I should be and do. Not to say that I've played a pawn figure in someone's game. Its just that stuff is changing and I'm letting go of old habits and hang-ups. If the world (my world) can't deal with it then they c...

The Pacific

Ever have so much to say and so many things on your mind that you have no idea WHERE to start? I want to talk about God, politics, race, the economy, marriage/children, books, history, genealogy, etc. So much but where to start? Maybe I can have a separate tab and hit which ever one hits my fancy? Not a bad idea. My problem would be that I'd have TOO many tabs. Still, its worth a few thoughts. Guess I'll get more tech savvy and get on that.
I can't believe how long its been since I touched this blog. Guess I've been too busy reading everyone else's thoughts. So many things have been going on this year that its just now settling in on me. Some of those things were major things and had I not got hit by OTHER major things then the first set of things could have floored me. Mind you, they weren't "terrible," just unexpected and slightly painful while others where par for the course. We picked up house and moved to another city about a month ago. We had lived in our little town and in our same little house, for almost 19 years. The house is now occupied by our daughter and her growing family. Hubby got a job promotion and was able to higher our 19 year old son. I am a bookseller at Barnes and Noble and we adopted a new dog. There is more in-between but it makes me dizzy just thinking about it all over again.
As I sit here watching my grandsons cannonball off of the sofa into their baby sister's playpen I am finding myself filled with mixed emotions. The unconditional love of grandmom "mom" and the young woman that lives within this 45 year old heart and the desire to follow all those dreams I have kept inside me. Things I want to do, stories I want to write, places I want to visit, etc... And while I don't feel that I'm on a time table, I do feel the need to jump start and DO something exciting with my life. I want to write and I want to travel and explore historic sites throughout the country. I want to do home improvement (like transforming my home to a country cottage). I want to visit my grands when they move away. I want to pack up and live in an RV and roam the country side with my husband. And I want to dive into my nook and my bookshelves and only come out for air!